Articles
Hidden Ambivalence
By Megan McDonough
Recently I had the good fortune to attend a teleconference with marketing guru Jay Conrad Levinson, the icon behind the Guerilla Marketing book series. To reach this level of grand success, he only works three days a week. When Levinson was asked when he was going to retire, he answered, “I’ve been retired for years.”
Is it a myth that we have to work like dogs for most of our life so we can “rest” at the end?
My father worked hard building up his own food brokerage business. Two weeks after he sold his business in preparation for “retirement”, he died of a massive heart attack on the first hole of the golf course.
He’s not alone. Statistics show that the greatest mortality occurs during the first years of retirement.
Is this what we’re working so hard for?
I had a personal epiphany after Levinson said he was already retired. In a sense, I consider myself retired as well. I gave up the norms of what a career “should” look like, and created a work life that suits my needs and interests. However, I didn’t realize until that phone call that there’s some hidden ambivalence within me.
I wonder sometimes if I made the right choice in starting my own business. I wonder if I did the right thing by my family and children. I wonder if the price I pay for health insurance can possibly get any higher.
There are times in life when a path seems crystal clear. After a heart attack, many patients change their eating and exercise habits in an instant. Some people diagnosed with asthma quit smoking in a snap. A close call with death can make the value of life immediately clear. These are the times when there’s no inner debate. The choice is clear and action is taken.
Sometimes, though, beneath what is seemingly clear lies a hidden ambivalence. This ambivalence can thwart the most decisive action. Doubting, questioning, second-guessing, and should-of’s eat away at goals. Unless the hidden ambivalence is addressed, you’ll never get where you say you want to go, because you don’t really want to go there with your whole heart.
Where is hidden ambivalence undermining your actions?
When you see ambivalence arising, don’t repress it. Don’t indulge it. Just consciously put it aside. You can always pick it up again later, if you really want to.
Megan McDonough is a Business Yogini, teaching Yoga to business people and business to Yogis so that all can work with more clarity and less confusion. She is the award-winning author of Infinity in a Box; Using Yoga to Live With Ease.
